Here is the thing, trying to survive in capitalist and consumerist America means having a survivor mentality just barely to stay alive and maybe even attempt to thrive. Thus adopting the confidence of a mediocre white man that became my mantra created by Sarah Hagi.
Women and other marginalized people who might not necessarily have this mentality engrained in us, we tend to struggle constantly with impostor syndrome. To understand a different culture, I try to get myself in the mindset and read about it and works from people of this culture taking a more anthropological and research approach. In this case looking at the white male bro culture, because for us to understand how to navigate we need to know how it works.
To learn it is important to look at different perspectives critically to build your own. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with everything, but it is essential to have different views to take into consideration even if it is for a counter argument later on. For this purpose, the following will let us know how to navigate and understand the bro and mediocre male culture, maybe even take some pointers to apply in our own lives.
So this, I present to you (with many hours gone into audio-book research on long commutes) my recommendations that may offer some training to gain the confidence that many mediocre people just have for no reason at all.
Let’s be real, we have many reasons to be more confident than a mediocre white man.
As I listened and read through these, I realized much of it I had already applied or learned from my mother unknowingly. The authors have just created a structure and actionable items that make many life lessons digestible.
Welcome to the 7 books that will give you the confidence of a mediocre white man.
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. So, in all honesty, I totally think this guy is an unapologetically pretentious douche. However, the truth is once he isn’t wrong. When we stop caring about what others think of us life is less stressful! Translation to my life: It’s the art of caring less about anything that doesn’t make you happy. Teaching me not always to be caring about the chime and focusing just on my own life. It’s a bit tone deaf though, asking for people to move past any preconceived notions of themselves, but that’s not really a POCs choice. However, there are lessons to be applied when we push our way into spaces that might not want us there. Yet continuously being unapologetic and carrying on and not giving a f*ck. How I viewed it in my own life is that someone is always going to judge me. I cannot control how others will perceive me based on my gender, race, works, etc. but I CAN control how I am going to react.
- The 4 hour work week by Tim Ferris. This isn’t actually about only working 4 hours a week but more overall how to streamline and value your time more to make room for the life you want. He goes through strategies on building a life you want for yourself. In this case, it means deprioritizing working an more about building systems to give you back your time to be able to enjoy life. This is the epitome of “work smarter, not harder.” If hard work were the real American dream, all the black and brown people would be thriving. As someone who works in the internet industry and operations, this spoke to me because with today’s technology the resources and possibilities are endless. It’s not about work, work, work, work it’s about building the life you want in the end.
- How to gain friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. This is a classic and one of the first books that looked more on behavioral strategies for being able to succeed in business. I am not really a fan of these techniques in all honesty, but I think it’s important to read because it gives us an insight into the basic sales bro mind. It provides methods that when reading, I realized this is what sales dudes too, so more so served me as a warning to know what to be on the lookout to not get played. However, I did take away the importance of understanding how we come off and trying to be as genuine as possible.
- The power of habit by Charles Duhigg. This is more on the self-help type of book and brings into account behavioral psychology. This is a pretty standard recommended book in business but for a reason. Yes, it’s hugely cliche to create that routine, but the truth is people are programmable, and we can train ourselves to attempt to become our most efficient and productive selves. So for simple techniques that can be applied to our everyday lives and real marketing tactics that you will probably read/listen and have you more on alert to become a conscious consumer its worth a read.
- Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. Okay yes technically not a white male, but Susan Sandburg teaches us to demand what we deserve and stop planning our lives and careers around the pretense of motherhood and female expectations. Her book has received criticism for not taking into consideration women’s who can not afford childcare. Yet, for me as a single woman in the tech industry, I could resonate a lot with this and encouraged me to push for my value and worth. Overall a book to remind us to demand our what we are worth and stop putting men before us.
- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Okay, so another white woman but you get the point. She’s so confident for no reason other than she’s existing. That’s literally it. Yet we can take note of this and remind ourselves we are magical and beautiful humans and frankly why not. She goes to talk about the power of intention and calling greatness towards you. This is something I have definitely experienced in my life and need to put back into practice. As cliche and mediocre as it is. Sometimes you need a reminder.
So here you have it, 6 books to help you gain the confidence of a mediocre white man.
PS: Life hack– Audiobooks, honestly this is how I get through so many books. Many public libraries have this however you may be limited to what books your library has in stock. Audible is my favorite tool, and you can always return any books you don’t like for your credit back towards another book. You can use my referral link for 2 free credits instead of just one when you first sign up!!!
So have you read any mentioned, if so what do you think?
Do you have any others you’d recommend?
How about we start writing our own books now 😉
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