“Y el Novio?!” New Episode up on @basicbrownnerds where I am the cohost, you can listen to it below. Making this episode really got me thinking about where I am at in my relationships overall and in my own personal “love journey”.
But really, who else has been asked this?!
“Where your boyfriend at?”
When I travel, its often the question I am asked by men and older women. How and why would I travel alone? Especially to such beautiful places? I admit, it would be easier to go to some countries with a man, mainly so I am not bothered by other men! Of course, so I could get amazing pictures, split the costs, or better yet have someone else pay for it cause I like keeping my hard earned money. Oh and it would be great to share experiences with someone special, however, I live by the following;
“Mejor Sola que mal acompanada”
Translation, “Better alone than in bad company”
It’s led to think about my studies and the trends I’ve noticed in my travels, professional life, and education. I focused part of my studies on reproductive and sexual education, and what I realized was especially in Latin America we are often validated in relation to the men in our lives.
We are someones daughter, wife, or mother, we rarely are asked about OUR own accomplishments. This is changing, and I have made sure of it in my own life.
My immediate family is in the US, and they are extremely supportive of my career but it wasn’t always this way. My extended family can be a bit traditional in their ways given that the objective has and is for the women to be married and start their family. Growing up in the US, especially in New York, where we are career and hustle driven this has never been my priority.
I choose to be single so I can focus on my goals, my empire, my career and now my family has changed instead of asking who I’m seeing they ask about how I’m doing.
I’ve also realized I wasted so much time on men, dating, getting over, or being hoey as a means to distract myself from what I truly want. I admit I have been trash at times and didn’t take into account how I was impacting and hurting the men in my life by not dealing with my own mental health and personal issues (Never said I wasn’t trash).
So now I will focus on me and build meaningful relationships and if someone along the journey I meet is worth taking the time to slow down a bit and join me on my ambitions than so be it, but in the meantime, I will just continue to do me.
So listen in!